Covid Chronicles

South African politicians are nothing if not entertaining. Often not in a good way, but every now and again one surprises you.

The Eastern Cape MEC for health is so healthy that she farted out loud during a live SABS news interview.

Once could actually see the fart bubbling up - by her facial expression. When she realised it's coming out come hell or high water, her eyes indicated a fleeting glimpse of the inner struggle between sphincter and brain, knowing the fight was lost before it even began.

And out it came. On teevee. Nogal. I actually felt sorry for the poor woman. In Afrikaans we would say it was kaksnaaks.

Japan dishes up it's own share of special. Gamer Grandma is a 90 year old Youtuber, with 256 000 followers on her Youtube channel. She started gaming almost 40 years ago. Hamako Mori isn't just the oldest Youtuber in the world, she is by far the coollest! Her video's get millions of views, and her razor sharp sense of humour is enjoyed by many.

She reckons she is loving life and will play online games with the youngsters - and beat their asses - for a long time to come.

Maybe it is time we all start gaming. But online, not this Covid Game.

Our minister of broken education, Auntie Angie, is talking to us today about schools and whether the Politburo has made a decision. One hopes she remembered to practise the difference between Covid and Codiv, for starters.

Millions of overnight homeschooling champions live in eternal hope.

In the grand ole US, the Hair Maestro apparently drinks his Hydroxychloroquine daily with his Fruit Loops and insists it takes the Co out of his Rona. Apparently one of the side effects is that it makes your skin way shiny so it would seem Speaker Pelosi is also using it but on the sly as no self respecting Democrat would ever admit doing anything El Trumpo does. She certainly shines in interviews nowadays.

I suppose that still beats shining in absence, which is what we often get with our own El Presidente and his NCC members. The Notorious Clown Corner. You know. They always keep us waiting when they indicate in their infinite non-wisdom they will make time to share tidbits of information with us mere mortals.

Notwithstanding the fact that 3 top science advisors - Dr Glenda Gray, Dr Ian Sanne and Professor Marc Mendelson - have expressed harsh criticism of the continued lockdown strategy by the SA government, they found themselves in very hot water when the People's Champion and his ministers turned on them like rabid wolves. Nothing will stand in the way of their agenda, not even the complete annihilation of our already broken economy. They are determined to forge a new economy, in the true socialist nature of who they are. In short, Covid gives them the opening they have been wishing for to achieve their idea of heaven. A socialist paradise. Which is inevitably always only a paradise for the connected few and hell for everybody else.

Hold on to your horses South Africa - your People's Champ is going to stomp our collective nuts into the dust while you praise him.

And while all that is going on, we are producing a whole army of skelm home brewing champions. Or they will be by the time we are allowed to buy alcohol again. And after they have blown up half of their brewing equipment during the learning curve.

Most fruit trees will soon be replaced by pineapple mini plantations in backyards.

Covid brings out the innovative part of people.

Riaan Coetzee
19 May 2020